Subscribe to our telepathic services and never have to deal with those annoying humans again! Our team of highly trained telepathic specialists will read your thoughts, anticipate your needs, and deliver your thoughts directly into the minds of those around you. Because, let's be real, who needs actual conversation?
Premium Telepathy Package ($99.99/month): Get all the telepathic services you need, plus a free side of mind-melding with our team of experts.
Basic+ Telepathy Package ($19.99/month): Because who needs all that fancy stuff, really?
Free Trial Package (Free!): Try before you buy, and by "try" we mean "have our team of highly trained telepathic specialists read your thoughts for a month" and by "buy" we mean "you'll be charged $100 for the privilege of being annoyed by our automated responses"